brand new.

i'm starting a brand new chapter of my life. everything changes now. when one door closes, many others open up. i get a fresh start, and i'm nothing but thankful for that. for three years i was stuck in something ugly and destructive, and i'll admit, i lost myself along the way. it took me a lot of time and understanding to realize that this was all for the best and i could've avoided a lot within the past three years, but my dumbass chose not to. i realized once you've grown attatchment to another, your heart gets stuck. no matter what your mind may tell you is the best for you and such, your heart just won't budge. i was stuck in that situation for so long, i'm so glad i've finally broken away from it.

so far, 2007 has been a trip for me. i've been put through so many trials and tribulations and this is what i have come up with; two people who were once an important part of my life no longer exists in it. why you ask? maybe because these people were just not meant to be in it (duh). anyway, i lost a best friend and someone whom i thought would be there through thick and thin. well, i learned that people will always disappoint you, that's why you shouldn't put yourself out there so much because chances are, you won't get shit back in return.

i don't know if this is the path i have chosen, or the one he's chosen for me, but either way i am happy this way. i am finally at peace, and i am finally able to let go of someone i have been afraid to let go of all this time. i'm finally able to live my life the right way, and maybe find someone who will treat me the way i deserve to be treated. it just goes to show that people don't change, and that's what i was waiting for; a change. i can't say that i didn't gain anything positive, i gained a better knowledge on what i want and what i don't want, and in this case, most of the knowledge i gained was on things i DON'T want for any future relationships there might be for me. some poeple just won't grow up. not for other people, but for themselves. i guess i just grew up a little too fast, and that's where conflicts of interests arose.

i can't really say what will happen from now ... but i do know that i am not going to let anyone bring me down ever again. i lost myself once, i won't do it again. i can finally say that i'm done and over it.